[LN] Senpai, Jitaku Keibiin no Koyou wa Ikaga desu ka? - Volume 1 - Chapter 2 - Part 1
Chapter 2 - Anti-photosynthetic forbidden fruit (Part 1)
I, Kaede Fumino, am a Hikikomori and a school dropout.
Although I attended school until the end of junior high school, I still have to take exams at the hospital. My father wants me to enter the best university in Japan like him. From the outside, one would be surprised to see a parent forcing a hikikomori dropout to do something like exams. However, I still accepted my father's wishes, thinking of it as an ambition that didn't suit me.
Because I'm not an optimist. Rather, I'm a pessimist.
That said, I'm not a child who doesn't know how to measure his own strength. Even if I ignore the future, no matter how strong I am, I'm the one who understands myself best. After all, I'm still realistic.
After all, I'm a smart kid. I've never seen my exam grades fall below a 3.
That's a continuous achievement as long as I'm still playing online games. My father was satisfied with that, and let me live the beautiful life of a hikikomori. More precisely, he ignored my problems.
Therefore, I wanted to spend the next 3 years of my life as a hikikomori after completing my compulsory high school education. However, my life had finally reached its peak, before I could participate in an event called optional education.
I wanted to get my high school diploma early so that I could live comfortably. But it was rejected.
At least distance education is fine. That too was rejected.
Except for famous private schools, all of them were rejected.
"Even if you get accepted into a university later, you won't be able to live normally. That's enough, go and cure that ugly disease of yours."
My father didn't allow me to skip the optional education system, and took drastic measures to force me to go to school.
These are the morals of parents who only care about their children's achievements, and don't care about their feelings.
I easily got into the school I was forced to go to, while playing games in my spare time. I wish my life had always been like this. But unfortunately, the society I entered was full of evil demons. It's a harsh world for people with communication diseases.
I greeted the first day of school with an unprepared mind. It was the opening day of school.
Actually, I was also looking forward to going to school.
It's really nothing but that I'm a boring nerd, and a fool who likes to party. School events are like in anime, ridiculous. Not joining any clubs. In short, just learn all the lessons. I only thought one hundred percent about going to college, and my bright high school life, stopped.
Those expectations, blatantly betrayed.
The school rules were pretty lax, the atmosphere too liberal. The trend here was not to require you to do martial arts, but only to encourage active participation in club activities, and the same classes banding together to try to do their best in sports festivals. Damn, that's really very inconvenient. Since I don't have to change classes when I'm in 3rd grade, so I don't have to interact with classmates more often, it's really a school for extroverts.
After the opening ceremony, I became desperate, facing reality with homeroom.
I wanted to ask myself during that hour, Can I pass the entrance exam to a highly competitive university, while in an environment full of youth events like this?. I'm a prodigy so it's a small matter, but can these empty-minded extroverts guide themselves to a new dimension?
Unfortunately, the college enrollment rate at this school is no joke.
The reason extroverts are always extroverts is because they have youthful energy coursing through their veins. They do not hesitate to work hard until they sweat without anyone noticing, all for the sake of a bright college life. College, on the other hand, is an adolescent period with a laid-back nature, a period of going back and forth and interacting with friends regularly to develop relationships, and eventually leads to club activities along with the emergence of martial arts individuals.
Other than that, they seem to be happily enjoying their lives.
And I wasn't like an extroverted child at all.
And then I suddenly remembered.
This was the school that an extroverted goddess once adored, or rather, my older sister, that her happy school life started here. This is definitely that damn school.
How could a child prodigy like me forget such a trivial thing.
It seems that my strong desire for my own bright school life has been lost to my eyesight. Even if my vision is restored, the light will disappear from my field of vision. I would definitely get a visual forced image when I had to watch the extroverts attack my bright school life.
After finishing the opening ceremony, I immediately planned to run away.
However, I was already surrounded by people.
A group of lightning-fast extroverts, with a lot of life experience, were like metal slimes coming towards me.
I was like a pawn of my father's oligarchy and was swarmed by people, and the three little guys in the background dragged me and blocked my way, making it impossible for me to resist.
They started introducing themselves, all names I had never heard of, and casually asked, "What's your name?" to reveal my real name.
I am Renaphalt! I will be the sword that cuts down your extroverts!
It's great if I can shout like that.
As someone who has difficulty communicating, I feel very scared when it comes to meeting an extroverted king.
Even though I'm very annoyed by people's background, that "Don't look at my breasts anymore, I'll kill all of you now!",I still couldn't say a word, just crouched down and waited for this storm of people to pass.
Then there a voice appeared and said, "Hey guys, she's that scared lo~", and a second force appeared. Another queen claimed to be the mother of the world, followed by four more children.
It couldn't be saved anymore. A storm was coming, and the ground trembled under my feet.
It seemed that this pair of princes and queens of the school had known each other since childhood, and they were happily talking to each other. In addition, there was laughter and giggling from the stalkers with small shrimps, adding to the atmosphere of the story.
"Why don't we hurry up and move to another place?"
While I was still gritting my teeth and waiting for this storm to pass, the enemy queen bared her fangs in front of me.
She nonchalantly introduced herself, then asked, "What's your name?". She was so barbaric just to ask my real name.
I am Renaphalt! I will be the sword that cuts down your extrovert!
If I can shout like that, now my life can be peaceful.
In the eyes of someone who has difficulty communicating like me, the queen is like a demon in love, I'm moody. And the people who followed her were the embodiment of the Hundred Night Ghosts.
"You know what's worse than looking at someone's chest, that's when you'll KILL all the bastards!", that's how annoying the stalkers were, but I still couldn't say anything, just grimaced and waited for this storm to pass.
Then there a voice appeared and said, "Hey, we're in the same class again", and the three figures of people appeared again. The other four-eyed man glared at him, thinking he was the prime minister of the entire school, dragging five more subordinates with him.
It couldn't be saved anymore. The great earthquake in the heart of the storm was now waiting to summon a tsunami.
The two kings and queens joked "Oh, it's the Vice Chairman". It seemed that the arrival of the prime minister had made this place lively. Moreover, the laughter, the guests behind him, the retainers and subordinates heated up this atmosphere more than ever.
As they were engrossed in their conversation, I knew this was my last chance in life, and quietly slipped out of there.
*
And that was the terrifying experience I had on the first day of school, the first day I entered school.
It was like a spiritual place where evil spirits resided. I would never set foot in that horrible place again.
Then, on my second day of middle school, I quit school and returned to the life of a hikikomori.
During my exam interview, I just stuttered and couldn't answer any questions. Even so, the reason I was accepted into this school was probably because the test I was given gave me the maximum score, no matter how bad my communication skills were, I was still a child prodigy that could help improve my college acceptance rate.
The homeroom teacher must have noticed my communication disorder on the day of the interview, and immediately knew the reason why I didn't go to school anymore.
Basically, by default, my father was often away from home, so the housekeeper had to take care of everything in the house. However, the contents of the housekeeper didn't include house arrest like me, so just close your eyes. Other than taking care of my personal life, she didn't mention about me dropping out of school. What a wonderful person, always supporting a hikikomori like me.
A week after returning to school, the school's trio of king, queen, and prime minister came to visit me.
They felt guilty, that they surrounded me that day and made me afraid to go to school. "I know you're a quiet girl, but, I'm really sorry for what I did", that was all.
To apologize, they asked for my home address from the homeroom teacher and came here.
It's true that they committed a big crime, plus my morale was already low before that. I'll never forgive the atrocities they did to me, but I'm sure, even if they were in front of me, I wouldn't have gone to school.
I asked the waiter to send them home, and without hesitation wrote a humiliating review on the school's website about their carelessness and backwardness in revealing my personal information.
I quit school, and then my father, who usually came home once a week, scolded me harshly. But I turned my face away and ignored him.
Golden Week had arrived, on the last day of April.
My father's patience had reached its limit.
"It's fine if you don't want to go to school. But I won't let you sit still. If you can't adapt to society, then I'll make you useful!"
After a long and persistent struggle, a verdict fell on this hikikomori dropout.
A verdict that should require me to marry a high-class Ugly bastard.
It seems that some family wants to build a relationship with him, and my role will be an outdated tool to help connect the two. This would make any feminist squirm.
My father's face said it wasn't a threat, it was a decision.
Satisfied with the decision, he left the house.
I let go, and for a moment my mind went blank.
I was not a weak child. On the contrary, I was very hard. Just because I lost the ability to do that in real life, I was called a weak and timid child. It wasn't just my father who saw it, but also my brother, who loved me more than anyone else in this world.
Whenever I was cornered, I dealt with it by keeping my face down. I would persist until the other party had to realize that nothing she said to me was useless, then she would give up. It's deliberately taking advantage of the difficulty in communicating to make you hit the other person's back, or I've used the wrong word.
This is the art of reciprocity. It's not that I won't say anything until the end. It's the art of patience, the therapy of dealing with people without having to respond from start to finish or having to give up their own discretion.
I have no intention of resolving issues that are directed at me. I always pushed those problems onto myself in the future.
Just like that, I left behind a mountain of debt for the future. It's time for me to pay it off, I can't allow myself to hide anymore.
I'm sorry, but even if I die, I won't marry a high-class Ugly bastard. But I don't mind my father's decision.
If that's the case, then I can only rely on my older sister who is studying at a university in Tokyo,
that's what I thought, but it wasn't a good idea after all.
As a result of following my sister's mindset, this difficulty communicating disease will definitely be cured. So my brother would have gently advised me to try to cure it and go to school. Even if I can avoid making fun of the upper-class Ugly bastard or if I can speak for him, I still have to follow the end of forcibly seeing extroverted teenagers.
That's the end of my life.
I didn't know what to do, my future was uncertain.
The only way was to take my own life by suicide, and end this family and bloodline. I had no intention of dying quietly and alone. I'm a cheap living creature who can turn a blind eye to anything.
The quieter it is, the scarier it is when emotions explode.
People often say that, but they don't know. We don't stay silent just because we like it. We just don't have the ability to communicate fluently and emotionally. As a result, we continue to live in silence.
Our emotions are always under control. When there is no way to release negative energy, day after day it will continue to accumulate in the heart.
And once it breaks out, the truth of the invincible newborn person will emerge, pointing at society and condemning it for pushing people like me down.
At least that's what I believe, just like that, someone with a serial killer will be born soon.
If a prodigy like me becomes a serial killer, my great achievements will be passed down for the next 100 years... Tsuyama's slaughter of 30 people is nothing compared to that. I plan to score 4 times that number, and then put my name into history and Wikipedia.
It's not that I hate my brother. On the contrary, I respect him, but he's also a stubborn person who doesn't care about my feelings... This brotherhood is not enough to stop my nature. And as a result, he would also go to hell as the identity of the perpetrator.
I set a deadline for my next birthday, and spent an hour immersed in the thought of becoming a serial killer. But how can a 15-year-old make more history?
First, try to figure out how to make a bomb out of a pressure cooker.
I reached for my phone, then suddenly remembered something.
I thought of someone who could truly understand me, and I could only open my heart to that person.
The Senpai of my life who taught me many things since the first time we met, when I was in 5th grade through an online game.
Senpai, who only brings me joy, is my strong spiritual support.
When I say that senpai has nurtured and molded the personality of Renaphalt who once closed the door to her heart, it's not an exaggeration at all.
Only when I was Renaphalt, who was always hiding from reality, could I rejoice. Since my mother died, I've only spent time with senpai who has made my life bright again.
Before this life ends, I want to meet senpai.
I don't know his face, voice, or age. I don't even know any personal information except that he is a boy, and a man of society.
Before this life ends, I want to meet senpai.
A child who suffers from communication difficulties, holds the desire to meet such a person in her heart.
After all, my life is over.
A momentary feeling of abandonment pushed me forward.
A very quick decision.
Even a hikikomori who dropped out of school, as long as he didn't have to interact with anyone, it was fine to go out. I went to the ATM and withdrew the amount of money I had there up to the limit that day, and planned to continue withdrawing the next day.
Until middle school, my father would reward me as long as I had achievements. And as a result of me getting a 3-digit score on the exam paper, this was a large sum of money deposited into my bank account. It doesn't sound right for a 15-year-old girl. It was just bait for me to achieve that result. The amount in the account shows how much money I have.
This time I felt very lucky for that.
I spent the rest of the day packing the necessary items into a suitcase. I left a note saying to Senpai "I'll visit you in Tokyo", then booked a plane ticket, prepared a trap to confront you, then I... texted to discuss with Senpai.
When I first started playing online games, I couldn't even tell the difference between right and wrong. Senpai taught me about internet savvy, and I still follow it faithfully to this day.
So senpai didn't know my gender or age. Maybe he thought aju was a college student and didn't expect me to be a high school girl.
Going to a man and seeking protection. At least I understand what that means.
Not talking about vulgar male lust. If this gets caught, social punishment will be imposed on senpai.
I don't want to trouble senpai. But I still want to meet him. I even hoped that she would open her arms to welcome my stuck life.
So I decided to make a bet.
Senpai spent every Friday at his friend's bar at the nearby train station.I'll be there unexpectedly, I'll suggest meeting offline, and if it doesn't work, I'll quietly give up. I'll continue to visit her, and then end my life with this family and bloodline. It sounds absurd, but I will take my neighbor to hell with me.
However, if senpai would meet me and hold my hand, he would be able to delay the bad end later.
I wanted to escape reality.
I want to look back on a bright future.
I wanted to immerse myself in a dream even for a moment, knowing that when I woke up there would be nothing left.
Here, I realized what I really wanted.
I sought safety from senpai's side.
*
Morning always comes early for a hikikomori who dropped out of school. Otherwise, it would usually always be late.
Today I woke up very early, before dawn. Since I left home with my suitcase, it was impossible for the waiter to catch me.
I arrived at the nearest train station about 30 minutes before the first train left, and left for Tokyo before noon.
The street view was incredible. I don't think it could cover the entire view inside the airport.
Thanks to that, I didn't get lost. The steel will to refuse to communicate led me, I who had prepared everything, to go to Tokyo without difficulty.
How to get to the nearest station at senpai's next place?
The fastest way was to take the sky monorail, changing every hour. But I rejected this option.
Even with the route ready and a 3D printed map, it was still a long way to go to an unfamiliar place. Aju certainly didn't want to have to ask someone for help if I was in a situation where I hadn't explored the area thoroughly before. So I opted to take the bus, just one way without going back and forth.
I waited for hours for the next bus, when I got there it was rush hour. If it was normal, people would try to avoid it, instead, I was fine with it. I also had no intention of taking this opportunity to sightsee in Tokyo.
Even on a normal day, at the airport, crowds of people still flooded it like a bunch of trash. I thought all tourist attractions were like this. Even though I'm interested in Akihabara, I'm sorry but I'm not going to drown myself in that trash-like crowd.
I learned about airport lounges while researching the place, and decided to spend some time there. Full electricity, including buffet drinks. On top of that, there was also Wifi for only 1000 yen. I couldn't believe there was such a beautiful environment right in front of my eyes.
Already arrived in Tokyo. Doing the food tour was probably the best. However, I couldn't bear the thought of having to suffer through conversations with store employees. So I went to a convenience store at the airport that had an automatic checkout system, a great system, to buy lunch and went back to cowering in the airport lobby.
Talking was very tiring, but I would pretend to lose my voice. I easily overcame it by simply showing them the sentence I had just written on the phone.
The lobby was filled with passers-by. It's really an ideal place.
I didn't plan to play games until departure time. Overwhelmed by the crowds at the airport, I continued to research the area like never before.
I observed the meeting point with senpai, memorized the surrounding terrain, and went in search of a restaurant with Wifi.
Because from now on, I can't freely use the internet anymore.
I'll leave my cell phone here.
The development of smartphones in recent years is impressive. I was afraid that the cell phone with my father's name could be used accidentally to track my route and hiding place.
I spent my free time before the bus arrived like that.
I pretended to leave my cell phone in the toilet and left it there, then got on the bus and headed to my destination.
The closest station to where senpai lived was there.
It was rush hour, so the crowd was denser than I expected. Even though it wasn't a tourist spot, I was still overwhelmed by the number of trashy people flooding the heart of Tokyo.
It's been 2 hours since I got online, all I can do now is wait. Wait until senpai gets off work and goes to his gold bar shop.
Until then, I'm starting to feel restless, uneasy, and slowly losing my patience.
The end of my family and bloodline was waiting for me, or could I delay it?
Not only that. Postponing the end for me also meant that I would meet senpai.
What kind of person was he? I kept picturing him over and over again, thinking of his face. When I was a kid, I always fantasized about cool faces like the ones I often saw on TV.
But being too influenced by the online community, and having tasted enough bitter and sweet, I could no longer think optimistically.
I used to know someone through online gaming. He lived with the internet and 2D girls, so there was no way he could be the ideal type. My expectations were impossible.
He was a geeky otaku model. Or maybe a NEET with pale skin.
Senpai was also an otaku, but not a NEET. He was a worker, living on his own. If so, then I know what kind of person he is.
He would be the kind of person who eats cheese gyudon at a gyudon bar.
I flew all the way here, to seek safety from senpai.
If my wish comes true, I want to live in senpai's house, and live out my days immersed in fantasy, isolated from reality.
A girl runs away from home, and goes to live in a man's house.
I know what that means. And how troublesome is it?
So I was ready to pay the price. Compared to a bad ending, having to marry a high-class Ugly bastard, entering the battlefield with senpai would be a happy ending. Our battle has truly begun!
I respect senpai, someone who can open my heart. It can even be said that he is the only person who gives color to my life.
So I was hoping for this.
Oh my God! Please give her to me!
However, no matter how much I respected senpai, there was a limit to suppressing negative feelings towards him.
I didn't have high expectations that he would be an ideal handsome person. Nerds are fine. So please don't be an otaku or NEET model. If that happens, I might secretly choose the path of becoming a serial killer.
How impatient to meet senpai. But until you open the box, you won't know what's inside. What a cat in a Schrodinger's box.
Being a nerd is the best, otherwise, my senpai's image in my mind will be ruined.... I'm not sure if I want to see her again.
As time passed, it was time for me to face Schrodinger's box, with the opposite anxiety in my heart.
I opened the online game app on my laptop.
"Senpai, let's meet offline."
I kept typing, until I couldn't press the Enter key.
Why?
Because I was afraid no one would come to the offline meeting?
Because I don't want senpai's image in my mind to fall?
Or because I was afraid of opening Schrodinger's box?
I think I'm afraid of the last minute.
Taking a plane all the way here in search of safety, but afraid of meeting senpai. What's more, now I'm hesitant to let senpai get involved in this.
Just like that, it took me 10 to 20 minutes and I couldn't prepare myself mentally,
"Hyaa"
"Ah sorry."
Suddenly my back was nudged.
It looks like the elbow of someone from a group of extroverts just passed by, didn't notice and got nudged. What followed was a light and superficial apology from him.
"...Oh!"
I let out a small groan.
Then my finger hit the Enter key.
The message was sent when I wasn't mentally prepared.
I was so scared that I just wanted to hold my head.
I even really wanted Senpai to ignore the message, but
"Why all of a sudden?"
I received a reply in less than a minute.
To senpai, I'm Renaphalt.
I'm carrying a serious illness, I have to pretend to be stupid to overcome a crisis like this, that is, I'm always convenient to joke with, no matter how negative the story is.
Let's stop here, it's embarrassing to say this to Renaphalt.
"Something about family and the future. I'm currently hiding from the enemy in front of me."
I replied back, less than 10 seconds.
I wasn't lying at all, and I was relaxing. It's enough to make people think, what is this kid trying to do.
"Didn't you tell me before, you live in Sapporo?"
Saying to comply with internet knowledge, but I had already given him my address by accident. So of course she would question why I flew here.
"Then I'm an active runaway."
"This is highly unlikely."
I laughed fufu, her reaction was exactly what I expected.
Just a few minutes ago, I was pessimistic, hesitant, but now Renaphalt is back and the story continues.
"Since when did you plan that?"
"Just yesterday. It's my first time on a plane."
There was no answer for a minute, silence.
On that side of the screen, Senpai must have been so surprised that he had to speak.
"You're very active."
"Really?"
"Do you have any friends here that you can contact?"
"Stop it! There's no way a para-hiki-neet can have friends!"
Renaphalt was fully "into" the game.
Senpai must be dumbfounded by Renaphalt like this right now. Maybe I had worried him.
No matter how crazy my movements or words were, it was only on the internet. And now reality was waiting in front of me, and I had to start stepping out of it.
Something like that couldn't possibly happen to Kaede Fumino again.
Because Renaphalt had already come this far.
"So..."
The next message was a wish that only Renaphalt could utter.
"Senpai, can you hire me as an ART in your house?"
I asked a stranger not I don't know his name, his face, but I asked him to make me an ART at home.
"Are you going to leave your house to come to mine?"
"Yes! Help me get a place to stay for the night!"
Senpai stopped replying to messages.
I wasn't expecting a sweet reply like "You're a cute guy, hire me!" .
I'm sure, suddenly being asked for help by someone who ran away from home confused Senpai.
I can imagine Senpai sighing, and making a stupid face.
But Senpai didn't go overboard with what Renaphalt said. This coward knows that.
I'm a smart kid. I can read senpai's mind and know what he's going to do next.
That prolonged the conversation.
Then I knew what I had to do.
Point the story, then pull the rod in one shot.
"I'm so surprised haha, it's going to be an offline meeting without anyone knowing."
"Really? I'm actually a pretty high school girl with those big boobs. After all, the stamp hasn't been peeled off yet!"
"I'll pick you up now!"
"Senpai is so weak, haha."
The situation was so perfect that I laughed so hard that I had to cover my mouth with my hand.
Perhaps my father and older sister would gasp in surprise if they saw I still had this ability.
Once again, I realized, having silly conversations like this with senpai was the most fun.
"Tonight will be a success. My spear Gungnir will burn!!!"
"Dangerous, dangerous. The gate we've guarded for so many years is finally crumbling!"
That brought tears to my eyes.
The time I spent with senpai, was truly brilliant.
*
So I arrived at the meeting point.
Now that I've left the store, I have no internet connection.
An appointment that I didn't know about, and now no longer have a cell phone in hand. The area in front of the station was still crowded with people,so I was desperate to meet there.
So at the station, we decided to meet at a place where we wouldn't conflict with each other. I sent her a photo of the location with a map link, and then directed her to the meeting place.
It seemed like it would take 10 minutes from here to there. And it took me less than 5 minutes to get there, and now I was standing still, losing all my composure.
Finally, the Schrodinger box will open.
Senpai said he was wearing a suit. Worried that we would run into each other, he sent me a selfie.
If you watch TV, you'll see many pictures of people wearing suits. Even though he didn't show his face in the photo, I still felt relieved.
He looked tired after a long day of work, his collar was loose, but he didn't look scruffy. At least he wasn't a fat man or just skin and bones. He was well-proportioned, and I could see that he was a clean man.
Is that possible?
Not a model otaku or a hikikomori with instrovert disease.
It would be a working man, the type who would eat gyudon cheese. I feel so happy, I hope I can shorten this waiting time to meet senpai.
On the other hand,
"I'm a pretty, big-breasted high school girl carrying a red suitcase."
That's what I said.
I'm not proud that I'm a pretty girl, but I am proud that I'm a big-breasted high school girl. That's the most important part of being able to catch bait, but 70% of what I said was true, so please forgive me.
Time passed in the blink of an eye at the station.
Time passed like water until I pressed the Enter button on the hamburger stand.
And now, time is slowly passing, as if every second is frozen.
My heart is pounding like it's going to explode. I've come this far, I can't run anymore, I can only languish waiting for that moment to come.
While I was still agitated, losing my temper, I suddenly saw something that caught my attention.
I met the eyes of a man who looked at me as if he wanted to eat me alive.
His short hair was not curly or greasy, but it felt neat. His eyebrows were not jagged but neatly trimmed. His face was not pitted, and no glasses were worn. He was probably a head taller than me.
This was not the face of a TV actor, or the handsome face of an extroverted prince.
It belongs to working people.
That's my impression of a mature man.
The reason I thought of the phrase commuter, was because he was wearing a suit. And that's what I saw 10 minutes ago.
I was standing there.
The photo was sent to me. The same person who went to work showed up at the meeting place, and was wearing the same clothes.
After a few seconds of staring at each other, the passengers turned around with dark expressions.
Surely Senpai was afraid that someone at the age of two would stare at a high school girl.
However, Senpai did not leave because he was afraid of the current situation, and just stood there.
Perhaps because his purpose was to come here, that was why he looked hesitant.
Whether this is possible or not...
I didn't expect anything fancy, but I wondered to the gods if this was really alright.
Senpai seems to be confused. It was hard to wait for him to come talk to me.
So suddenly, when this leg of mine moved on its own.
"A, a... ano..."
I just made the most disgusting sound in the world, a mosquito-like buzzing.
It wasn't that I had mentally prepared myself, but shyly pulled out all my courage to come out of my self-deprecating shell.
It was that in my heart, I was clinging to a misguided hope, trying to find my own salvation.
"Se, sen, pai... right?"
My lingering wish, if only it were true.
After all, in those eyes, what kind of person am I?
The person I'm waiting for is different from what I imagined.
Age is one thing. Gender is completely opposite. If she didn't understand the meaning of my question, that was fine.
Hence, I was determined to fight my evil disease of difficult communication
"E, e, em..."
I tried to gather the courage of a communicator.
"A-a me, Re, Rena... phalt... ah."
I told that person, that I was her kouhai.
*