[LN] Mamatomo ke Sodateru Rabukome - Volume 1 - Chapter 13
Chapter 13 - My Little Brother Kindness
"Nee-chan..."
Iku, whom I picked up on behalf of Akiyama, looked anxiously at the front door. He had been like this since arriving. He was just sitting in the hallway, waiting for her brother.
Apparently, children are very attentive to their family members.
Iku, who lives with him, knows how hard his Sisters works because lately, he can see his Sisters always coming home exhausted.
"Iku, your sister will be home soon, so let's play and wait here."
"No, thank you."
"Then, let's watch cartoons, shall we?"
We had been like this for the past hour. If he was doing all that for Iku's sake, it was a mistake because he had made him worry.
I don't think he intended to make Iku worry. However, Iku isn't an insensitive or heartless person. So, he's still worried about her sister.
Iku's innocent eyes were filled with strong determination. He probably wouldn't want to move until his brother came home.
"Let's play with the playhouse."
"......Nee-chan has done her best."
"Sumi-chan?"
"She has done her best for me, so I should do my best for her too."
Soyoka, who was clutching the stuffed snake bought the other day, sat down on her knees beside Iku and joined in staring at the door.
"Soka will do her best too!"
"What for?"
Hey, stop wrapping a snake around Iku's neck just because he doesn't react!
I didn't think there was any point in waiting for her there, but Iku looked worried. I gave a few words to them and started cooking dinner.
However, Iku remained silent, while Soyoka was busy wandering around in boredom.
It's currently 18:00 when the intercom rings. The door opens and Akiyama peeks inside.
"Nee-chan!"
"I'm ...... sorry for keeping you waiting."
Akiyama patted Iku's head as he jumped into his arms and said so softly. Iku just rubbed her cheeks silently.
"Nee-chan, are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine. Iku doesn't need to worry. I'm too popular that everyone depends on me. Just like Iku."
"I see."
"Yes. This sister of yours is really amazing."
As if memorizing a script, the words came out smoothly as if they were reality. It wasn't a lie, but a subtle one. I wonder if she had thought of that answer beforehand?
"But Nee-chan......"
"How was kindergartenn today? I was so cool and cute, I'm sure you must be popular. Did any girls approach you? I'm scared."
"......No."
"Thank goodness then."
Iku reluctantly answered Akiyama's quick words. With a face that was still cloudy.
A younger brother who was worried about his older sister. And a Sister who wants to look cool in front of his brother.
I understand how they both feel. In normal situations, they seem to have a good relationship. But in the current situation, it feels very distorted.
Iku worries about her sister more than anything else. That's why I couldn't ask her to stop.
"Thank you Kyota for taking care of Iku."
"Oh, no problem, but...."
"It's not good to stay here too long, so we're going home. It's getting late."
"No, I told you that I'll make dinner, right? I already made it, so I don't accept rejection."
It was difficult to deal with Akiyama in the current situation. Her usually sharp tongue was now silent, plus she had a melancholy expression on her face.
This was her true self, a weak girl.
But, even in that weak state, she still acted strong.
"But ......"
"I want to eat Nii-chan's rice!"
"......Yes, alright. Since you made it, I'll accept it."
Akiyama finally relented after being urged by Iku. She carefully arranged her shoes. But when she stood with her hands on her knees, her body fell.
"Oi!"
I grabbed her in a panic. My hand didn't reach her, but she managed to put her hand against the wall to support herself. She started walking as if nothing had happened.
If she had been a second late, she would have hit her head. Iku supported her sister body with her small hands.
"I just lost my balance, that's all."
Her eyes were blank. After moving to the brightly lit living room, I could see Akiyama's face clearly. Sweat was pouring down her forehead, and under her eyes were lines that couldn't be hidden with makeup. She was clearly exhausted.
"Sumi-chan sleepy?"
After all, Akiyama's appearance was not normal. She just smiled faintly at Soyoka and put down her bag with trembling hands and folded it blazer.
"Akiyama, please sit down and relax. You're too busy, aren't you?"
"I'm not busy. I'm just studying moderately."
"You cut down on your sleep, didn't you?"
At school, she had to be the class president. After school, she had to pick up Iku and do her homework.
The combination of these tasks, which normally didn't exist, had taken up his study time. If it were me, I would have abandoned my studies immediately, but Akiyama refused to compromise himself.
The only way to streamline her time was to cut her sleeping hours to study.
"Yes. This is ball game week."
She said it with a nonchalant and, if I must say, proud attitude.
I wondered if Akiyama realized it or not, but Iku, who was standing beside him, looked at him with tears in her eyes.
She must be feeling guilty. Ever since she came home, she always tried to avoid eye contact with Iku. Iku was more worried about her sister than anyone else.
But even so, Iku didn't say anything. I'm sure it must be because she thinks it's for his own good that he's pushing himself so hard. But if Iku realizes it, he'll definitely feel unhappy.
I know that because Soyoka did too.
Children act like children by reading the atmosphere. They try not to confuse adults and behave according to their age.
"......If you don't sleep, you'll get sick."
"I've slept for three hours."
"What? If I may know, since when?"
"About a week, I think.... You don't have to worry about me."
No matter how I looked at it, I didn't think that she would be okay. If she didn't get enough sleep, she wouldn't be able to study as efficiently as she should. There was no way she could get good grades under such circumstances, and more importantly, it would be too much of a burden on her body.
Akiyama staggered as she headed to the kitchen.
"I borrowed your apron."
"All you need to do is heat it up, I'll do the rest."
"Kyota is just as busy as me, isn't he? I can't do that when Kyota does everything."
It was true that our circumstances were very similar. Although our parents' situations were different, we still took care of our younger siblings in place of our parents. Hence, we felt empathy and a sense of friendship. However, I don't think it's a good thing to get depressed for doing so.
First of all, taking care of children while still in high school is difficult.
"I've been doing chores for a long time, so I'm used to it, and I don't study either, because I devote all my energy to Soyoka."
"That's nothing to be proud of, let alone......"
"Whatever it is, I'll be fine. I told you, right? We have to help each other."
She was not good at relying on others. About herself, about Iku, about everything she had to face. She mistakenly believed that she was the one who had to do everything herself.
Akiyama squatted with her hands on the shelf where aprons were kept. She took out the apron she had borrowed earlier.
"Thank you for today. But I can't accept it. I'm not perfect. I have to be perfect. I've promised to be a good Sisters and a cool Sisters, so..."
Her words flowed out, one after another, like gibberish.
I don't know if her consciousness was knee-deep or not, but she wasn't looking at me. She was making a statement to herself. She was moving with her remaining energy.
It's so painful that I can't bear to look at it
"Promise.....? With who?"
Akiyama put her hands on the shelf and slowly stood up. She turned around to put on her apron.
"Akiyama."
At that moment, her body trembled unsteadily.
"Ah!"
Akiyama spread his arms, but she could not reach anywhere. She lost her balance and fell backwards. Her foot was stuck, probably because it was entangled.
"Nee-chan!"
"Oi! Akiyama!"
I grabbed Akiyama's hand and pulled as hard as I could. Just in time, I managed to prevent her from hitting the kitchen table. I stopped her with my whole body.
Her back was too small and thin to carry such a heavy load. I slowly placed her too-light body on the floor. The heat of her body felt in my hands was hot enough to burn my skin.
"Iku......"
A faint voice escaped from her half-open lips.
Akiyama closed his eyes and momentarily lost consciousness.
I brought her to the sofa, and at around 8:00 p.m., Akiyama finally woke up.
I stayed with her during that time and did not want to leave her.
I didn't want her to get sick, so it was just me preparing dinner, and during that time, Iku just stared worriedly at her face.
"Nn-------"
"Nee-chan!
"Iku......? Ah, sorry, I......"
She seemed to have understood the situation when she saw Iku's crying face and the blanket over her.
She tried to lift her body by pushing her hands. However, Iku held her firmly. Good job.
"Nee-chan, don't!"
"Sumi-chan, if you're sleepy, you should sleep."
She's still not ready to be an adult when she's still being reprimanded by a child. I didn't even get a chance to speak.
It was funny to see Soyoka acting like an older sister and getting so angry at her, but that's not the point now.
I filled a cup with tea and handed it to Akiyama. She accepted it with a dazed look on her face.
"Drink first for now. Are you hungry? I've left dinner for you."
Akiyama's skin was much better than before, but she still looked very tired. That was natural, as she was cutting back on her sleep every day, so there was no way she could recover after only sleeping for two hours.
She tilted the cup she was holding in both hands. She rubbed her sweaty bangs with her fingertips.
"Thank you. I have no appetite."
"I see. Then, please continue sleeping."
"I was just sleeping."
"But only two hours."
"Two hours is enough. I sleep at night too."
"You just fainted, didn't you learn from that?"
I was surprised at how low my voice came out.
The reason I was so annoyed with Akiyama's attitude was probably because I compared it to my own.
I can't speak for others either. But if it was for Soyoka's sake, I would force myself to do whatever I could and not compromise. That said, I feel the same way about her.
No wonder our positions are reversed.
When Soyoka was too young, when I was in middle school to be exact, I had a hard time with childcare that I wasn't used to and household chores as well. I couldn't even finish my homework because it was never done. I often woke up at night because of her crying.
Not once or twice did I fall sick from overwork.
However, despite the physical exhaustion, I didn't do this work out of compulsion. On the contrary, I felt good while doing it.
That's why someone who could see it from the outside had to give her advice. And only I can do that.
"......I was just a little sleepy. I'm fine now."
Akiyama's lips twitched awkwardly.
The words "I'm fine" that I had heard so many times before were meaningless and hollow.
The headlights of a car passing in front of the house illuminated the window for a moment.
"Then, look into Iku's eyes and tell her that."
"......."
Akiyama was startled and saw Iku who was holding the hem of her skirt. She finally faced Iku, whom she had been avoiding out of guilt.
Iku said nothing but stared silently at her Sister face.
"Do you think Iku wants to see you work so hard that you get sick? Do you think it's right to make Iku cry from worrying about you?"
"......I didn't mean to make him worry. I just want to be his big sister. I want to be the perfect big sister. I want to be the cool big sister."
"Do you really think you're the cool big sister now?"
"I'm always calm, smart, and capable of anything. That's the big brother. I am."
That was my image of her until I met her at the kindergarten entrance ceremony. I'm sure it's all something she developed through tireless efforts.
"But I don't see it that way."
"Then what should I do?!"
Akiyama raised her voice for the first time.
Her voice echoed in the quiet room, further eroding her composure.
"I only have Iku! I don't care about myself as long as it's for Iku! No matter how hard the road gets, I will continue to be the perfect big sister for her! Don't talk to me as if you understand!"
This girl named Akiyama Sumi is a person who is not good at cooking and doing household chores, not good at making friends and expressing her feelings, and panics when unexpected events occur. She is just a normal girl who loves her broty, who wants to look perfect.
With that goal in mind, she had done what she had done over and over again, which eventually consumed her body like a curse. It was almost like an obsession.
"Why are you so obsessed with perfection?! Did Iku tell you to do that? No!"
I raised my voice.
"Onii-chan, scared...."
Our conversation, which turned into a shouting match, made me want to cry for scaring Soyoka.
Akiyama regained her composure when she heard the trembling voices of the two of them.
Iku also looked frightened and looked at her big sister.
I don't want to fight with him in front of Soyoka and Iku.
Akiyama's eyes swam as he tried to find the right words.
"I promise to be a good big sister to Iku when he's born. I'll be the big sister that everyone dreams of, the big sister that Iku can be proud of."
Akiyama patted Iku's head with trembling hands and a warm smile on his face.
"Who did you promise ......... to?"
"My father, who doesn't even know what Iku looks like."
"You mean...."
"He died in an accident shortly before Iku was born."
Akiyama wrapped Iku in his arms. Perhaps she was trying to get rid of the trembling in her body.
I was completely dumbfounded. At the same time, I regretted having asked her without thinking.
It was true that she never mentioned him father. Come to think of it, there were many occasions when we both felt that we didn't have a father. Yes, recently, she also stated that she had to do the housework because her mother was working.
Even when I went to their house, they gave me no indication that their father was there. The whole room is organized in a very feminine way.
My father wasn't home either, so I didn't pay much attention to him. However, the situation was completely different.
"Before he passed away, my father told me that I should be a good big sister who could be a role model for him. My mom felt lost, so I had to be a cool older sister instead. I was Iku's big sister. But at the same time, I'm also a father and mother to him."
"So that's why you're forcing yourself to be perfect...."
"Yes."
If he died right before Iku was born, it would have been three or four years ago. It's hard to imagine how shocked they would be to suddenly lose the backbone of the family while having a small child.
I wondered what if that had happened with Soyoka. Fortunately, I didn't have to worry about money because my father worked overseas.
After giving birth, my mother came home from work every half week until Soyoka was one year old. During that time, I also did childcare. As a middle schooler, I struggled with household chores and babysitting, but I still had free time.
In Akiyama's case, however, she was suddenly thrown into a situation that she wasn't ready for.
"So ......... Akiyama has to be perfect, huh?"
By including those words, the resolution increased rapidly.
Akiyama Sumi, who was still a middle school girl, was forced to become an adult with the birth of Iku. The situation does not allow her to remain a weak girl.
Akiyama bit her lower lip to hold back tears.
"If you already understand, please leave me alone. This has nothing to do with Kyota, right?"
"It's okay, I told you before, didn't I? We are mom's friends."
"Yes, I really appreciate your help today. I may need your help too for Iku in the future. But I'm sure that my own affairs have nothing to do with you. We are indeed mom's friends, but we are only connected through Iku and Soyoka-chan."
She coldly dismissed me as nothing more than a classmate, not even as an ordinary friend.
"......We're going home."
It was already dark. If she stayed too long, it would make it difficult for her for tomorrow. But Akiyama's body is already at its limit, and I don't think she can go home by herself.
I'm sure if she did go home, she'd probably stay up late again today to do her homework and study.
However, there's nothing else I can tell her to persuade her to stay.
Akiyama got off the sofa, quickly put on his blazer, and carried Iku's bag and his own. His movements were lethargic and lacked any signs of agility.
She did not make eye contact with Iku, who was fidgeting as if trying to say something. I think he felt guilty for using Iku as his excuse.
I also have my own memories. I once blamed Soyoka for the difficulties I faced in my daily life. But that didn't mean I didn't want to do it. Instead, I felt proud that I could help Soyoka.
Yes, that's the way it is. I always thought that sacrificing for Soyoka was the right thing to do, and I never once thought, "If only she didn't exist..."
"Don't!"
Soyoka broke the silence.
Akiyama stopped her steps with her hand resting on the sliding door.
"Soka doesn't want Onii-chan to get tired because of Soka, you know!"
With a trembling voice, she spoke her thoughts in a shaky voice. Her voice was almost tearful, and drops of water dripped down her cheeks.
"Soyoka......"
"Soka doesn't want Onii-chan to get sleepy, sleep, or faint."
Soyoka sat on the floor with her eyes fixed on Akiyama.
I wondered how much pressure she was under in that small body.
Or perhaps, she could swallow and understand our conversation and express it in her own words?
"Onii-chan is stupid and weird, but he's a good brother."
"Huh?"
It's a bit strange ...... I wonder why she's a bit rude in this context!
"Soka will be fine without Onii-chan."
Guh.
This sister of yours wants to cry blood when she hears you say that, you know!
Soyoka's words may seem confusing, but they all convey the essence of the message. But the way she said it wasn't right! That was a critical hit for me!
Simply put, she wanted to say that it was okay if her brother wasn't perfect. It's okay if her brother has flaws, and it's okay if her brother doesn't watch over her all the time. That's what she was trying to say. But she's not really complaining to me, is she?
"Soka loves Onii-chan even though he's not cool."
I hugged Soyoka's small but stunning back from behind. She was trembling slightly.
Soyoka had just met him, and he was years older than her, but she was so serious about him that she cried. I wonder if Soyoka could have done something like this a few months ago? Maybe she was comparing their situation to her own.
I feel that she has grown up. She was just a stumbling little girl a few months ago, but now I realize that she's already a wonderful girl.
"Me too!"
Next, there was another small back that looked reliable.
"Me too, I'm not so weak that I have to be protected all the time by Nee-chan."
"Iku, I-------"
"I want you to rest well, Nee-chan. Although Nee-chan is not perfect, but Nee-chan is still Nee-chan. You're a cool Nee-chan!"
For the first time, Iku, who had always been so shy, managed to express her pure feelings directly.
Akiyama's bag slipped off her shoulder and fell to the floor.
"You're always trying so hard, Nee-chan. You're trying too hard."
"I thought I had to be perfect to be accepted as a big sister...."
"That's not true."
These siblings are very similar.
They are strong and pretentious. They care about each other more than anyone else, but they don't show each other their feelings, so their paths cross.
But today, they managed to reveal and bring out their hidden feelings.
"Really? I can still be Iku's big sister even though I can't do anything?"
"Yes. Even if Nee-chan can't do anything, Nee-chan is still my favorite big sister."
"Iku..."
Akiyama slowly knelt down and hugged Iku. She hugged her tightly, without letting go.
I thought "siblings" had a very special relationship.
Sometimes as family, sometimes as closest friends, and sometimes as caregivers and recipients.
They are very attached to each other just because they were born to the same parents.
This fosters a special bond that no stranger can create.
"Right, I love Iku too."
"But Nee-chan can't cook."
"I can....no, I sometimes like to make mistakes."
The expression on her face was already calm as if she had just released all the burdens in her heart.
The two of them were fine now. Although nothing had been resolved at school, but this was enough. From now on, they will understand each other better than before, and they will be the best brothers ever. Although they can't beat us.
"I-Iku!"
"It's okay, Nee-chan."
"Iku, I'm sorry. Thank you. I'm glad that you're my little brother."
"I'm also happy that you're my sister."
Iku reached out her hand and patted Akiyama on the back.
"Iku and Sumi-chan are fine."
Soyoka smiled at me with a proud expression on her face. Well, she was the one who contributed the most.
I patted Soyoka's head and approached the Akiyama brothers.
"Akiyama."
When I called out to her, she looked up in surprise.
"As older siblings, we should show them good things. But we are not great human beings. We can make mistakes, and there may be many things we don't know and can't do."
Ever since Soyoka was born, I can't tell her how many mistakes, big or small, I've made. Even now, I still like to make mistakes every day. I even feel like I'm not good enough and a failure as her big sister.
"But that's natural. No one can do everything from the start. I think it's important to admit it."
"......You're right."
"So, let's grow up together. As the elder sister of our 3-year-old younger siblings. I'm just like you. It's okay to take small steps. Let's not rush. Let's join hands and walk step by step."
"Together with Iku..."
Akiyama repeated while looking at Iku.
"Raising a child isn't just about raising them. It's also about growing up together with them. Besides, I... I can have a mom friend. Let's raise them together. The four of us."
I thought I was the one taking care of my sister, but as it turned out, I was the one who had been helped by her.
The feelings Soyoka gave me made me grow.
Thanks to Soyoka, my days are full of color. I was always supported by the unconditional love Soyoka gave me. I didn't just give it to her unilaterally. Instead, I also received more from her.
We influenced each other and grew together. That's what a family is all about.
"Children grow up so fast that if we're not careful, we might get left behind."
Finally, she had a bittersweet smile on her cheeks.
Yes, sooner or later I might not be able to see the cute and adorable Soyoka like now.
...... Well, that makes me sad.
"I'm not perfect at all."
"You just realized that?"
"But I don't have to be perfect, do I?"
"Ah."
Akiyama, who was trying to be perfect, looked down.
I'm sure this is something that will completely overturn the value system she has developed over these past three years since Iku was born.
"Thank you, Kyota."
"O-Oh. Do you want to eat?"
"Yes, I would ...... could you teach me how to make it later?"
She took off his blazer again and said with a bright smile.
I think the current her is much more beautiful and charming than her cool-ass self.
------ Yeah, although it's only about two-thirds Soyoka.
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