[LN] Kanojo ni Uwaki Sareteita Ore ga - Volume 1 - Chapter 10

 

Chapter 10 - Sleepover

I returned home through the sparse flashing streetlights and lay down on the sofa to relax.

I heard there would be karaoke at the after-party, but as expected, I declined.

Perhaps because I was invited by Ayaka, everyone's eyes on me were warm, but that is not the same thing.

After that, several circle members called by Ayaka and Natsuki enlivened the table, and the drinking party turned out to be a good time.

Perhaps it was because I was so worked up from drinking that I didn't have to worry about bothering them. The speed at which we get to know each other over drinks is very fast.

"I'm almost done washing the dishes. You have accumulated so much."

"Thank you."

The reason Shinohara is still inside his home, even though I sent him home, is because he was killing time at a nearby convenience store.

It seems that today was just a day when various magazines were releasing new issues, and the time passed quickly.

While Shinohara is washing the dishes, I am relaxing, but my head is getting heavier as time goes by, perhaps because I am getting drunk.

Finally, there was a sign that Shinohara was leaving the kitchen, and I opened one eye thinly.

"Come on!"

I heard a nice sound on my cheeks.

I felt a hiyari palm and knew that Shinohara had placed his hand vigorously.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no."

"I'm not in my right frame of mind. Usually, senpai would yell at you, here."

Shinohara rubbed my cheek and relaxed her mouth.

"Drunk."

"You'll know it when you see it."

I turned my face away, but Shinohara's hand never left mine.

I felt a presence approaching, so Shinohara must be right beside me.

My one eye was closed before I knew it, and I thought to myself that I was really drunk with my heavy head.

I had just had such a conversation with Reina earlier, but I didn't have to think about it when I felt Shinohara's cold palm directly on my hand.

"Senpai?"

"...... feels good."

"Oh, yes. That's because I was washing dishes."

Come to think of it, Shinohara must not have eaten here today. That means he washed only my dishes.

I guess they saw me drunk and realized that I would probably neglect my chores again today, so they washed the dishes for me.

"Thank you."

When I thanked him, Shinohara blew up.

He said, "It's always like this. If you're going to say it, say it on a regular basis."

"Usually it's in lieu of rent. ......"

I'm just going to say, "Okay, you've got it."

Shinohara lightly pinched his cheek and lightly stroked the place where he pinched again.

A few seconds of silence ensues. It is not awkward, but the silence is rather pleasant.

"You staying? Today."

I couldn't help but say so.

Was he drunk or did he want to stay home the whole time?

Hearing my suggestion, Shinohara shows a surprised expression.

"I didn't bring a change of clothes. If you don't mind."

It did not take long for Shinohara to respond.

◇◆

"I mean, it's just that up until now we've been kicking people out just before the last train."

Shinohara complains while rummaging through his wardrobe.

I was the one who told them to look for clothes they could use, but the sight of the clothes piling up as fast as they could was fidgety.

Perhaps noticing this state of affairs, Shinohara raised the corners of his mouth.

"I just took it out of the box. They had been put in there in a messy state, so I just took them out while I was at it."

"What the fuck?"

I turn over with relief. Then you can have it scattered as much as you want.

I'd rather you scatter to your heart's content and organize the contents of the wardrobe for me.

I feel like an asshole, but my body, weighed down by alcohol, does not listen to me.

"Senpai, can I borrow this or something?"

Just after I turned over, I was approached and reluctantly rolled over again.

Shinohara's fingers were picking at a jersey I used to wear in basketball circle. I readily agreed, thinking it would make a good substitute for a nightgown.

I said, "Fine. Sorry, I don't have any women's stuff."

"If there were, it would be a don't-do."

The reply reaffirms in my mind that all of Reina's belongings must surely be gone.

I had not organized the contents of the wardrobe since our breakup, so I was a little anxious, but judging from Shinohara's appearance, she seemed to be doing okay.

I often look in the closet, but rarely look in the wardrobe, so my memory is hazy.

"I don't have a girlfriend, do I? I'm staying here today."

"I'm not here right now. I'm fine."

Perhaps reacting to the implied word "now," Shinohara stopped folding laundry.

I never even told Shinohara that I had a girlfriend until recently.

I had told him about my views on my own love life, but I had never told him anything about what happened with Reina.

It was something I wanted to avoid as much as possible to talk about Reina to people I knew nothing about.

But now, after the encounter with Reina and the phone call, the memories of those days are about to come vividly to the surface again. I was finding it a little hard to hold on to them alone.

Perhaps it was this feeling that made me say things in an implicit way. Perhaps I subconsciously wanted Shinohara to notice.

"We recently split up."

I had to tell people who knew nothing about Reina's existence. That alone required a lot of effort on my part.

If it had not been the day of Reina's call, and if it had not been Shinohara on the other end, I would never have told a stranger about Reina. Today was a special day when those conditions came together.

"How long have you been together?"

Shinohara asked without putting any effort into it, as if he was folding clothes.

"Maybe a year."

"Heh."

"I'm not."

"A year is quite a long time."

"It's normal. It's normal."

In high school, many couples broke up after three months or even as early as a month, but in college, that was a bit early.

One year seemed to be quite average.

But Shinohara's cheeks puffed out when she heard my response.

"I was three months old."

"Yeah, you are."

"Ah! Disdain!"

"No, no, no, I don't mean anything else."

He turns over and tries to get as far away from the voices that are coming down on him as possible.

Talking about Reina. That was enough to lighten my heart somewhat.

And I am relieved that it was not pursued as much as I had expected.

It can be hard to hold it all together. But as we talked, it seemed to me that remembering this and that in the past was more painful.

Perhaps my relief turned my drunkenness even further, but I was feeling furiously sleepy.

I let go of my consciousness without fighting sleep.

◇◆

I slowly opened my heavy eyelids at the sound of the bathroom door closing. The heaviness in my head from the alcohol was somewhat better, but I still couldn't bring myself to get up.

I pull out my phone and check the time, it is 2 am. I must have slept for two hours.

"Did I wake you?"

I shifted my position toward the voice coming from the hallway and saw Shinohara in my jersey with an apologetic look on his face.

The scent of bathwater wafts from the hallway, and I wonder why it smells so good, even though it is supposed to be the same shampoo.

"Senpai?"

"I was asleep."

"I know. Didn't you hear what I just said?"

When I got up, I felt even more sluggish.

I think I had a long dream for the short amount of sleep I had. People are said to remember the dreams they had just before waking up from sleep, so sleep duration may have nothing to do with it.

"Are you okay? You should drink some water."

"I don't want it."

Move to the bed and lie down to collapse.

For Shinohara to wear his own clothes as a nightgown would be a situation that would make the average boy's heart flutter. In front of a man who has been drinking, Shinohara is a little vulnerable.

However, such a joyful situation seemed no match for the physical sluggishness that would remain even tomorrow.

Shinohara seems a little frustrated by the unresponsiveness of the clothes.

"Senpai, do you have any reaction or anything?"

"What?"

"I don't know if I should say this, but..."

"It's a very extravagant situation for such a pretty girl to be wearing a man's clothes, right? I know, I know, it's a treat, good night."

Then he covered his face with a comforter to prevent light from entering his vision. However, the comforter was quickly pulled off.

"I'm dazzling, I'm melting. I'm actually a vampire..."

"If you're a vampire, you're fine at this time of night. Don't give me crap."

Shinohara sniffed and put a hiyari (a cold object) on my forehead.

"What the hell?"

"It's a drink for hangovers. I just went to a convenience store and bought it."

"It's dangerous, a girl at this hour."

"You never let me stay over until now, even when it was late. What are you talking about?"

Shinohara laughed and placed the pills beside me.

He drinks it all up in one gulp to prevent a hangover, and then releases the empty container into the trash.

"Damn bitter."

"It's the best medicine that comes with the worst medicine."

"You're right. Thanks."

"No, no, no."

This is where I see Shinohara's face for the first time. I had missed it because I had been under the impression that she was wearing my jersey, but now Shinohara is wearing no makeup and no face.

There was another reason for the delay in noticing this, besides being distracted by my jersey.

"You're pretty cute without makeup, too."

"Hundred points for senpai. The way you praise me, the girls will be delighted."

I laugh at Shinohara, who gives a vigorous thumbs up.

"What's a zero answer to the question?"

"It's just that you're prettier without makeup."

"The heart of it."

"I don't know what I'm doing makeup for if people say I'm prettier without makeup. I'm wearing makeup to look as pretty as possible."

From the heat he put into his words, he had probably been told this several times. I wasn't aware of it, but from Shinohara's point of view, my compliment was the right one.

"Sometimes there are people who say, You look prettier without makeup when you go to a camp or something! You know, the ones who say, "You look prettier without makeup! They don't understand! You don't understand!"

"Oh, how about you, Shinohara? Take it easy."

"We pay a lot of money to buy all kinds of makeup! And then..."

Shinohara's mouth is pressed with his hand.

He writhed in agony, but when I pointed to the clock, he huffed and shut up and let go of my hand.

"I'm sorry. I was distraught at midnight."

"Are you emotionally unstable?"

"That's how counterproductive the word is."

"Yes, yes, I'm going to bed."

I was originally right, so it's none of my business. And this was the second time I heard this story.

I recall Ayaka saying the exact same thing a year ago. The person who praised her may have thought it was the best compliment, but behind the scenes, she was slammed like this. This is a good example of the fact that a compliment is meaningless unless the words are chosen carefully.

"If he could tell that you were trying to compliment him, then forgive him."

When I unintentionally defended the man, Shinohara laughed.

"I'm not mad at you. I just got a little heated."

"Oh, yes. Well, don't be offended."

"It depends on the person. If it's senior, I don't mind."

"I'm glad you're here. Glad to hear it."

"If you're going to act like that, I won't cook dinner tomorrow."

That would be a problem. Probably my body will still be somewhat heavy after I wake up in the morning, so I need to have the dishes done.

Moving in the morning is a hassle, even if you've had a hangover-preventing drink.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"It's cash, and I hate it."

Shinohara sniffled and threw herself onto the couch.

"Don't you have to take care of your skin or something?"

"I did the bare minimum, but I could only find men's stuff in the bathroom. Have you ever really had a girlfriend?"

"It would be a bad one if my ex-girlfriend left it behind. I made her take back all her personal belongings."

I have lotion and such, but no pack to soak it in. I am not so conscious of beauty, but I don't have a pack to soak it in. I wash my face, but I always take proper care of my face afterwards.

Shinohara yawns, reaches over from the sofa, takes a toweling blanket, and wraps herself in it.

"Hey, where's the hair dryer?"

"I'm just going to let it dry naturally today. The dryer is too noisy."

In a manner of speaking, he must have been concerned about the adjoining room. It didn't seem like the kind of thing that would come from someone who had just spoken so loudly, but I suppose I should commend him for his thoughtfulness.

"I have good news for you, My hair dryer is a high-spec one that makes almost no sound."

"Seriously?"

"Majestic."

Shinohara jumps up and walks back to the washroom. It is said that hair is a woman's life. Shinohara must have resisted the damaging natural drying of her hair.

Even though it is an apartment, the walls are rather thick, so there is no need to be overly concerned.

The clear sound came from the bathroom, and I was glad I had bought a higher-end hair dryer.

Come to think of it, I stepped into the bathroom, thinking that she wouldn't know where the lotion was.

When I opened the door, Shinohara had placed her phone on the washroom stand and was running a video while she ran the wind from the hair dryer through her hair.

The sight of her drying her hair in a distracted outfit is a thumping sight.

"I opened the top shelf and found lotion. You didn't use it."

He says in a flat tone so as not to let them know how he feels.

"Wow, senpai. You scared me."

Shinohara's shoulders shook as if horrified.

"It's the Ox's time, so please come in a little more knowingly."

"You can't have ghosts?"

"I don't know if there are people who are okay with ghosts. I understand if you don't believe in ghosts, but I don't think there is anyone who is okay with ghosts."

I agree, but I felt a little mischievous when I saw Shinohara's reluctance.

"I'm psychic, right?"

"What, are you serious?"

Shinohara turns off the hair dryer and looks up at me.

Have you finished drying your hair or is it too much for you?

"I hid it, though. So if there were people like that behind me, I would know."

"You're drunk at ......, aren't you?"

Shinohara has a subtle look of disbelief. There is no doubt that he is drunk, but if he is going to make a joke anyway, we want him to believe us first.

I started talking, thinking of an article I had read on the Internet.

I was in the third grade at a public bathhouse in my neighborhood.

"Gib! I'm going to bed!"

Shinohara ran out of the bathroom, jumped into my bed, and wrapped herself in the quilt over her head.

I was not reluctant to let him use my bed since he was my guest, but he must not be very good at ghost stories if he jumped into bed without hesitation.

"You're too quick to give, even if you do ......"

I let out a sigh, and Shinohara peeked out from the quilt.

Big eyes staring at me.

"I can't do it. I really can't. If you say it again, I really won't cook for you."

I said, "Okay, sorry, sorry. I was definitely drunk."

"Yes, there are no such things as ghosts. People in the past got it wrong with the simulacra phenomenon. It's a phenomenon where if you just see three dots, you recognize them as faces. That's what ghosts are!"

Turning my back on Shinohara's insistence, I pull out a futon from the closet. When I started living alone, I bought two futons. I thought they would be useful when I got a girlfriend or had a friend over for the night, but these futons are relatively rarely used.

Rena stayed over occasionally, but I rarely let my friends stay at my house. I don't like to let people stay at my house much.

Ayaka knows this too, so she never entered my house except for lunch.

Shinohara, who always comes in and out of the house, is an anomaly. There must be something that makes it tolerable, but I didn't know what it was.

Maybe we are simply compatible as people.

"I'll help you. I'll help you."

As I was holding the futon, Shinohara stood up.

"No, thanks. It's my own."

"What, am I in bed?"

"The beds there are better."

If I'm going to let them stay the night, I want them to sleep in a place that's as nice as possible. As an older person, I sometimes want to look good.

The surprised look on Shinohara's face satisfied me.

He jumped into my bed only to escape from the ghost story, and he didn't really intend to sleep there.

"You can change the sheets."

"No, it will be hard to do laundry, and I'm totally fine with it as is. But are you sure?"

"It's okay. It's not like it's going to decrease."

I lay down the futon and get under the covers.

The bed with Shinohara and my futon are not too far apart, but this distance is the limit for a one-room apartment where one lives alone.

When the lights went out, most of the one room was covered in shadows. A ray of moonlight leaking through a gap in the curtains crossed the room.

"Good night."

As I told him, I felt Shinohara smiling at me.

"Yes, good night."

As I closed my eyes, I could hear Shinohara moving slightly.

In the same way, the other side will be able to feel my every move.

The space where silence descended made me keenly aware that I was alone with Shinohara, and I strained my closed eyelids.

"Senpai, aren't you far away?"

I open my eyelids to the muffled sound of Shinohara's voice.

The voice, which must have leaked out of the quilt, seemed strangely distant.

"Not really. They're not even two meters apart."

When I replied, my voice rose a little. Was it the alcohol in my throat, or was it nerves from the unfamiliar situation?

It's pathetic that I'm nervous now, but I'm sure I'm getting a different feeling than when I sleep with her.

After waiting for a while, there was no response from Shinohara.

The hands of the clock, making a faint sound in the quiet space, echoed disgustingly, and he regretted that he should have used an electronic clock.

If she has already gone to bed, she is a brazen woman.

No matter how much we trust them, they are still a bit vulnerable.

If it is because it is late at night that I have such thoughts, I want to go to sleep as soon as possible, but the more I try to sleep, the clearer my mind becomes.

I opened my eyelids and looked up at the ceiling resentfully.

"No, I can't sleep."

No reply came back.

"Shinohara?"

He called out one last time. If there was no response, I considered it unavoidable to fiddle with my phone. It was obvious that it would make me extra bleary-eyed, which is something I would like to avoid if possible.

But fortunately, the sound of sheets rustling could be heard from the direction where Shinohara was.

"I was about to ...... sleep."

"Wow. Sorry."

Pulled back from the world of sleep, Shinohara's voice is more gravelly than usual, and he apologizes involuntarily.

Shinohara squirmed for a while, but eventually calmed down.

I am not sure if he is sleeping, since I can't hear him breathing, but now I feel that I can't bear to wake him up for my own reasons, so I let out a small breath.

I give up and take my phone out of my pocket.

"What about ......?"

I sounded dumb, not understanding what Shinohara said, which I heard unexpectedly.

"Fine, senpai in bed, too."

Finally understanding Shinohara's point, he turned in the opposite direction where Shinohara was.

"I can't share a bed with someone I'm not dating."

"That creed is cool, though. Then please go to bed."

"I can't sleep."

"Then why don't you just come?"

I felt Shinohara raise his upper body.

Although it is dark, I can feel Shinohara's eyes on my back.

Normally, I would have refused without even thinking about it, but there was a reason for my hesitation. I am not accustomed to sleeping on the guest futon I sleep on, so it is difficult for me to fall asleep.

...... that's as close to an excuse as you can get. There is such an irresistible allure to Shinohara's invitation that such an excuse involuntarily crosses one's mind.

Normally, I would have brushed it off lightly, but the lustrous voice coming from the darkness rang in my ears.

I get up from the futon and manage to reach the bed with little visibility.

"Here you go."

Shinohara could see me, so he pulled his hand away and urged me next to him.

As I sit down on the bed, I can feel that Shinohara's scent is close to me.

A sweet scent tickled my nostrils, not unlike my own bed.

"I'm going to move closer to the wall. Please don't kick me while I'm sleeping."

"I'm not such a bad sleeper."

I felt Shinohara smiling at me as I argued back.

Finally, my eyes became accustomed and I could make out Shinohara's face.

"I'm okay with that."

Shinohara shifts her hips and moves to the wall and rests her head on a pillow.

I placed the pillow I had brought next to me, too, and slowly shifted my position.

Although his back is turned to Shinohara, he can feel a single breath of air only a few inches away.

I thought this would make it even more difficult to sleep, but I didn't care about that now that I was feeling somewhat content.

The hands of the clock are not heard for some time.

The sound of the pillow and hair rubbing against each other stopped, and we both remained silent for a long time. The lack of breathing indicates that Shinohara is not yet asleep.

As I opened my eyes and gazed into the empty darkness, Shinohara finally spoke up.

"You're very solid, senpai."

What are you firm about? The words were vague, but I knew what they meant to me.

"......A really solid guy wouldn't let a girl he's not dating stay over at his house."

"Indeed."

"Don't be so convinced."

A few light words and the tension dissipates somewhat.

It seems to have started raining.

You can hear the rain knocking on the ground as it begins to fall at midnight.

Unable to sleep, I stared at the empty space. Just as I felt my eyes getting used to the darkness, I felt the light around me slowly diminishing. Are the clouds hanging over the moon?

For a while I kept my eyes open, but eventually I got tired of that too.

"Senpai."

"Hmm?"

"Why did you break up with your ex-girlfriend?"

I regretted a bit what I told Shinohara about having an ex-girlfriend.

Reina is now a person of the past.

If we had not met again at the mall. If I hadn't received a phone call.

It was supposed to sink to the bottom of my memory and eventually wear off. I hate the fact that talking to Shinohara will make me aware of Reina again.

And it's a waste of time and effort to spend on a matter that will never be resolved.

Now that I was starting to sober up, I was beginning to think so.

So I have nothing to say to Shinohara.

"I can tell from my seniors that they don't like to talk about such in-depth topics. That's why I'm glad you told me, even if it was just because you were drinking."

"Are you happy? Why not?"

"Why?"

He repeats in a tone as if to say, That's a funny thing to say. But I don't know why, so I silently urge him to answer.

"I knew they trusted me."

Trust, and recite it in your mind. To trust and rely on. I know what it means, but I have to think about it a little because it wasn't something I consciously said or did.

To be honest, I didn't mean to do that at all. It just became a little hard for me to hold it alone and it just leaked out of the levee broken by alcohol.

"I got to see a side of my seniors that they don't show to other people."

The word that comes to mind is Ayaka.

The fact that I know a side of Ayaka that not everyone knows is a sign of trust. I would be lying if I said I did not feel happy about that.

That being said, I definitely trusted Shinohara, too.

I affirmed Shinohara's interpretation that showing a side of oneself that one does not show to others is a sign of trust.

"Maybe."

When I responded, I felt Shinohara raise her upper body and look down at me. I could see her face, which was slightly visible, staring straight down at me.

"I thought maybe I shouldn't mention it so much earlier. I was still curious."

The tone of his voice was more serious than usual, and I guessed what the question was about.

"Did something happen with your ex-girlfriend today?"

As I pressed on, the sound of the pattering rain beating against the window became more pronounced. The rain must have been very cold as it began to fall from the winter night sky.

The moonlight that had been shining in just a few moments ago had vanished, perhaps obscured by clouds, and Shinohara's expression, which had been slightly visible just a few moments ago, could no longer be seen.

And surely this silence will be the answer for Shinohara.

"I'm still not trustworthy, am I?"

"That's not fair. It's one thing to trust me, it's another to talk to me."

I don't want to talk about it because I want to forget about Reina. I don't want to talk about it because I want to forget about Rena and I don't think it will lead to anything. I don't want to talk about it because it's a problem that can be solved by my mindset, not because I don't trust Shinohara.

It has nothing to do with this.

"If I didn't trust you in the first place, I wouldn't let you stay at my house."

When he didn't respond, I continued speaking to the ceiling.

"You tell people you trust anything? Like me."

Is it an egotistical metaphor?

But today, after many days of going home like this, and finally sleeping under the same roof. I thought that this did not mean that they did not trust me.

I know that this is a one-sided and optimistic observation, but I am relieved that Shinohara does not seem to object to it.

"...... Indeed, I did. So did I."

Slowly, Shinohara spun his words as if chewing them over.

"It's one thing to trust them, it's another thing to step in and talk about it."

When he said this in a convincing manner, Shinohara laid his upper body down again.

I couldn't see him, but I somehow knew he had his back to me.

"I'm glad to know. I knew it was true for everyone."

"I don't know about the rest of you, just me."

"I'm sure we all do. I'm sure I am too."

Shinohara let out a small breath and continued.

"There are things I don't want to say, even to my senpai."

Is it with Ayaka? Or is it something related to Ayaka? Or something completely different and different.

I realized that by speculating in this way.

The desire to have someone talk to you because of your consideration for them. This is exactly the feeling that Shinohara had just had.

"Me...decided."

"What?"

"I'll make my senpai like me even more."

I was taken aback by the abrupt declaration.

"What are you talking about all of a sudden?"

"I want to have a relationship with my seniors so that they naturally want to talk to me. I want to have a relationship with my seniors so that they naturally want to talk to me."

I feel Shinohara turn toward me again.

This time, they are so close that you can feel their breath.

"Good night, senpai."

Shinohara's hand slightly touched my back.

A discreet embrace. The soft touch. The smell of shampoo wafting from her neck tickles my nostrils.

There was a certain warmth there.

The embrace continued for a while, but eventually Shinohara untied her hands from around my waist.

"I was so excited. I was thrilled."

"I'm the one who started all this."

He shoots out strong words so as not to let the excitement in his chest be noticed.

"Because. It was my first time..."

"...... what?"

"Don't tell anyone!"

Shinohara takes the quilt from me and wraps herself in it.

"Hey, it's cold! Give it back!"

Shinohara laughed and buried his face in the quilt.

I had no choice but to pull a blanket from the futon I was originally going to sleep on and wrap myself in it.

From today onward, Shinohara will be intervening in my daily life even more.

I've only known Shinohara for a month.

But after only a month, Shinohara has already become so integrated into my daily life that I cannot separate it from my consciousness.

I was even a little excited to think that my relationship with Shinohara would deepen even further in the future.

"Well, good night."

No reply.

I can hear the sound of his sleeping breath coming from a few centimeters away from me.

"Damn, you only sleep for a second."

I laughed and distanced myself a little from Shinohara.

Today, I won't have to remember the past anymore.

I closed my eyes, thinking about my new normal.

———————

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